Archive for April 2015

The Green Season

I’ve started fixing up the outside of the house. At least, the green things around the house. This is somewhat worrying, as most green things I own die instantly. I can’t even keep salad in my fridge. The second I put it the crisper drawer, it starts screaming and catches on fire.

I spent most of the day clearing out dead leaves and worrying about how much I will still have to do after that. See once upon a time, my grandma had flower gardens, ferns, bushes, shrubs, and lilacs, all perfectly managed in rows and allotments. Now, as it happens, I have all those things but with a bunch of weeds and dead grass on top.

A bit much for a guy who’s never cared for anything bigger than an office plant.

And the pool. That was a problem for years, back when nana was still around. It kept leaking, she said, and became too expensive to keep filling up. So she put a tarp over and left it for later; a philosophy I can generally get behind. In the intervening time, however, the tarp tore and the water left in the pool became black and, well, alive. I can see foul, lovecraftian things moving in that pool. I would try and get rid of them, but they’re probably so advanced by now they’d just rise to make war on the surface world.

I’m going to try to have a garage sale in a couple weeks. Which means braving the cat pee basement again. If I don’t write next week, it will be because I have died from the pee fumes. If that is the case, do not mourn for me. Just burn down this house like a funeral pyre; it’s safer that way. Preferably with as many ceremonial cats on top as you can find.

Also: reading.

Business as Usual

A couple years ago when we started this blog, it was sort of on the assumption that we led interesting lives. As this weeks rolls around, I’m starting to wonder if this is the case. The most interesting thing that happened to me this week was getting a couple emails that I was not qualified for jobs I applied for. Well, that and a couple Jehovah’s Witnesses. I don’t answer the door now, nothing good comes of people who ring the doorbell.

Really, I’m just passing time between applications. Wheeee, reading is fun!

I have nothing to talk about. Still afraid of cold-calling potential employers. I should just do it, but I’m afraid that when I try I’ll say the secret word, and then that therapist will call all the other therapists, and tell them not to let me be a therapist.

Still have my new house to figure out/take care of. The toilets keep flushing by themselves. I’m starting to suspect a poltergeist. I should be worried about the haunting, but I’m more worried about the implication that ghosts poop.

Things are getting greener outside, which means I should start taking care of them or they will die, and then angry soccer moms from the block will come to my door and tell me that I am the Antichrist because my grass is yellow. Such are the priorities in this strange new world I live in.

-Austin

Blerg?

Well, this is embarrassing. After all the hullabaloo I made about posting stuff, I almost shrugged off making a post today. The only thought I had this morning was a rather childlike “I don’t wanna.” It’s a thought I’ve been having a lot lately, between applications, doing my taxes, and slowly fixing up the house.

God, growing up sucks. You think it’s going to be all staying up late and bacon whenever you want it, but it turns out to be bills and the slow, inexorable hands of mortality and death haunting your every waking thought.

Am I right?

Though, I am feeling better day by day. I’m reading again, and it’s slowly bringing back the creative parts of me that got burnt out over the last six months. Hell, two days ago my friend Kevin and I tried to write a rock opera. We even made it through half a song, a cigar, and two whiskeys before we got bored.

So, slowly getting back to baseline. That’s the cool thing about us humans. Give us three weeks, and we can get used to just about anything.

-Austin

Oops-es and Updates

First of all, I owe the guys an apology. Last week I blamed them for my stuff, and they rightly took offense. I meant it to be a joke, sort of a “ha-ha, I’m blaming you for my actions” kind of thing, but it just came out dickish. For that I am sorry.

I may not have much of a sense of humor these days. Not that it excuses being a dick.

But things are looking up. I had a job interview last week. Tumbleweed, which is the kind of job I should have been looking for in the first place. So, fingers crossed.

 

Happy Easter

Hey folks,

A very happy Easter/Passover weekend to you and yours from us and ours.

Sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but some things are starting to come about that have taken me away from blogging for a bit. Some good, some bad, all different.

Now, I’m hoping you all have a great weekend, and I’ll catch you up next Friday.

-DC