My last month in Billings has been very, very stable. My needs are met; my heart is full. But with less than two weeks before the big move, it’s time to start collecting the random thoughts and belongings I’ve scattered around the house. The time for daydreaming has come to an end.
It was fun while it lasted.
To be honest, spending the better part of two months in a low-pressure environment just reminded me of how much I need deadlines and challenges to lead a productive life. In absence of expectations, I’m quick to take the path of least resistance – to sit around and eat ice cream. I worried that I would take on old habits when I moved to Billings, and it looks like my worries had some validity. Like Austin said, nothing makes you backslide faster than coming home. I’m not happy with this reality, but I can’t pretend it doesn’t exist.
Luckily, New York offers thousands of new challenges, and approximately none of them will be solved by eating ice cream. I realize that moving away won’t change my core behaviors, but it will offer clear-cut problems (figuring out the subway system), and clear indicators of progress (being able to find my way home).
But before I get ahead of myself, there’s still work to be done at home. My challenge for this week? Cleaning and organizing a room that contains all of my belongings from the last 6 apartments I’ve lived in.
For many, this is a standard step to moving out. For me, it’s putting my feet against the starting blocks of a grand new adventure.