Going to the chapel


When I was first planning my wedding with my then fiancé, people would ask how it was going, and I would always answer the same: “if you ever get married, elope.”

It was a long and stressful process to get from the proposal to the alter. But, we learned a lot and we survived.

More than that, we thrived.

As such, my perspective on weddings has changes some, having now had my own. So I would like to share an “I dos” do’s and don’ts list with you. Based on my experience and nothing else.


  • See your bride before she walks down the isle. (The moment I saw Courtney was so over powering, I had to double take. And then I promptly fell apart. In a good way)
  • Let your family stress you out. (My family was pretty awesome. So was Courtney’s. But, those little things they do that bug the crap out of you will seem like really big deals when you are already stressed and strung out. Just remember they love you and want you to be happy.)
  • Trust the RSVPs. (Plan for 10 more people to just show up, and then don’t be surprised when 20 people cancel or just don’t show. Stuff happens, so plan ahead and being willing to let go.)


  • Dance your ass off. (Our first dance, our mother/son and father/daughter,  were all SO much fun. Not because we practiced, but because we really danced, as opposed to swaying.)
  • Eat the food. (Some couples don’t eat on their wedding day. They are too busy taking pictures and saying hi to everyone, and they end up forgetting, or not having time. We made time to eat. And I am glad we did. Even if you are not big drinkers, it’s an exhausting day, and you will need some food.)
  • Have live music. (My sisters and two of Courtney’s friends all played or sang or both during our service, and it was so amazing.  I can’t even tell you how perfect it was. And while we had a blast dancing to our play list, we had a live band at the after party, which was great. Courtney and I even sing a song or two with them.)

And finally, Do-

  • Surround yourself with your best friends. (our bridal party was awesome. Our ushers were incredible, and we had all the people who matter most pitching in and having a good time. We were able to involve friends in the ceremony,  and have others take over set up and tear down. They were all indispensable and a joy to be around. When you are making your list think about who you can count on for fun, logistics, and support.)

Long story short, I am so glad we had a wedding. Rather than telling people to elope in the future, I will tell them, all you need to know about having a wedding is that people love love. They want to help, they want to have fun, and they want celebrate with you. So, why not let them?