Call to Arms

I work best under a deadline, which is much different than saying I’m happier under a deadline.

Last week, I was faced with several big deadlines, one of the largest being a decision about my living situation. Due to a miscommunication, I found myself with roughly two weeks to decide where I’m going to live for the next phase of my life. This was paired with a more personal deadline that determined how I would divide my attention and affection between people that I care about.

These were tough deadlines that affected my closest friends, and they came way sooner than I expected. At first, I thought I was incapable of making such big choices in such a small amount of time, and I resigned myself to confusion and frustration. For the first few days of my decision-making, I was antisocial, moody, and scared. I definitely wasn’t happy about having deadlines.

But then a funny thing happened – I realized that I didn’t have time for anxiety. I didn’t have time for a week long spree of overthinking and doubting myself. I had to make a decision. Now.

I found myself with a sudden clarity. Much like the anecdote about flipping a coin, I realized what I was really hoping for when I saw the decision in the air, waiting to descend. I realized that my inspiration to make a decision didn’t have to come from an external source or a grand epiphany – it could be as simple as a light tug on my heart. With this in mind, I made my decisions and met my deadlines.

A week later, I’m starting to rethink my capabilities as a decision maker. Not because  I regret my decisions – things are actually going really well – but because I realized that I’m capable of taking charge of my life. While I’m usually overwrought with anxiety or apathy, I possess the power to live a more intentional, more directed life.

Clark 2.0 isn’t gone, not even close.

So now it’s time to start preparing for the journey. I’ll announce more the details next week, but the important part is that a decision has been made, and deadlines have been put into place. My path has been laid out before me, and I couldn’t be more excited.