The Head and the Heart

Brain FlowerThere’s a dirty little secret all counselors know. It’s the trick to counseling. But the funny thing is, knowing it won’t make the slightest difference to most people.

The head moves faster than the heart.

This is, in effect, what makes the counselor’s job easier than the client’s. A cognitive, intellectual understanding of a person’s problems is a lot easier than the present emotional experiencing of those problems. In other words, thinking about about a problem is one thing. Feeling it is another entirely.

I see it all the time with my own clients. They may be aware exactly what their problem is, and completely understand that what I’m trying to teach them would be helpful. And week after week they come back exactly the way they were when I first saw them. But, I keep trying to get to the “heart” of the problem, for one reason.

Until you know the problem in both the head and the heart, change is almost impossible.

Lucky for me, I’m finally at a point in my life where I can feel the ways in which I need to grow. Anyone that knows me (or has read my posts over the last couple of months) knows I’m the shy, awkward type. And for the first time in my life, I’m in a place where I can understand that both intellectually and emotionally. Because of that, I am gaining the humility to accept feedback, the patience to suffer growth, and the wisdom to know my limitations (I’m pretty sure I’m ripping off the serenity prayer, but hey, same principle applies).

Think about all the major roadblocks in your life, and the ones still around today. They won’t ever go away until you can say the same.