Life in the Johari Window

Johari WindowIt’s funny. Ever since I started asking people about my blind spots they’ve been telling me about them. Bastards.

Life never comes at you from the direction you’d expect. All my fears and things I never wanted people to find out about me? Perfectly fine with them. But all those things I do automatically because I never thought to do them differently?

In those gaps are the roadblocks keeping you from being truly whole.

Even now, I’m scared to share the things about myself that people keep saying aren’t a big deal. I’m geeky (as if the blog didn’t give that away), I’m selfish, I bore easily, and I withdraw from things more often than I face them head on. The funny thing?

These all contribute to the things people love most about me.

I’m geeky and I bore easily, so the things I do love I love intensely. I’m selfish and I withdraw, so my own knowledge of my own inner workings gives me a wisdom beyond my years. I don’t face things head on often, but when I do, I end up making change, real change. Like now, for instance.

But the things that almost damned me were the things I didn’t even think of.

I keep things to myself. I tend to underplay emotions. I set most of my goals around the expectations of others. Perhaps worst of all, I don’t listen to the things inside me that tell me when I’m struggling.

For the first time in years, my head and my gut agree on where I am and what I want to become. I’m struggling where I’m at right now, and that’s fine. But to struggle alone and deny who I am in those struggles? That’s the blind spot I have to change.